[MAURY]
By the power vested in me by the Ink Pot Saloon
I hereby dub Tess Harding
Occasionally known as Tessie Cat, meow!
Former scourge of all mankind
As a newly elected member of the good old guys
And welcome to the club!

[CARTOONISTS]
Come ye men, misogynistic
Who reject all female bores
To be informed by means most mystic
Now and then some broad is one of the boys

[TESS, spoken]
Gee, thanks, boys. Wanna wrestle?

(sung)
I'm one of the girls, who's one of the boys
Enjoying the jokes and the smokes and the noise
You wanna go fishing? Well, hand me the reel
I majored in poker, so shut up and deal!

I'm one of the gals, who's one of the guys
So, put up your dukes and I'll blacken your eyes
Behind all the Gucci, the Pucci and pearls
I'm one of the boys, although I'm one of the girls
I'm one of the does, who's one of the stags
I chug-a-lug brews when I lose on the nags
Forget the Max Factor you find on my face
For barbershop fours, I'm a fabulous bass

I'm one of the queens, who's one of the drones
Just hand me the dice and I'll rattle your bones
In spite of the dress, the finesse and the poise
I'm one of the girls, although I'm one of the boys

I'm one of the girls, who's one of the boys
Enjoying the jokes and the smokes and the noise
You wanna go fishing? Well, hand me the reel
I majored in poker, so shut up and deal!

I'm one of the gals, who's one of the guys
So, put up your dukes and I'll blacken your eyes
In spite of the dress, the finesse and the poise
I'm one of the girls, although I'm one of the boys

[CARTOONISTS]
She's one of the dames, who's one of the knights
Her Friday night treat is a seat for the fights

[TESS]
I love to go stroke with a varsity crew
You wanna play snooker? Well, chalk up your cue!
I'm one of the Janes, who's one of the Joes
Just hold my cigar while I powder my nose
I've layers of lacquer, a lady enjoys
I've earrings and bracelets and various toys
But I love when I've slipped into ripped corduroys

Because I'm one of the girls
I am one of the girls
One of the girls
Who's one of the boys!