[Chef]
Now my friend Meat Loaf and I are going to sing a little love song

[Chef]
Tonight is right for love, you know
I wanna touch you where the lights don't go
Tonight is right for love (with Meredith Baxter-Birney)

Expressing love so sweet
I'll keep you burning like a dog in heat
Tonight is right for love (with Meredith Baxter-Birney)

We had a love that was so magical
Meredith Baxter-Birney burning, burning in my soul
I'm not talking about Meredith Baxter-Birney today, no
I'm talking about Meredith Baxter-Birney that was on "Family Ties" ten years ago

[Meat Loaf]
After the love comes a darkness in hell
A demon inside you like a bottomless well
Nothing is safe and everything is a lie
Love doesn't last, no matter how hard you try
Burnin', burnin', through your brain
I think I'm insane...

[Chef]
Meat
[Meat Loaf]
But when you finally realize that it's all in vain

[Chef]
Meat Loaf

[Meat Loaf]
Splinters of wood, they can be forced through your eyes

[Chef]
Meat Loaf!!!

[Meat Loaf]
Cheese graters of steel being rubbed in your thighs
Your skin is comin' off and you rollin' in salt!

[Chef]
Meat Loaf!!! Meat Loaf!!! Hey Meat! Meat Loaf!!!

[Meat Loaf]
What?

[Chef]
Where are you goin', son?

[Meat Loaf]
Oh... gosh...
[Chef]
Come back to us, we're over here

[Meat Loaf]
OK, oh, sorry, Chef, man. Sorry

[Chef]
Okay, son, but this song is about Meredith Baxter-Birney a'ight
Not about splinters of wood in your eyes

[Meat Loaf]
You're right

[Chef]
Here, have a taco

[Meat Loaf]
Taco, great, I need a taco

[Chef]
You're messing up my business with Meredith Baxter-Birney
OK?

[Meat Loaf]
Mmm
Yeah, great
[Chef & Meat Loaf]
Tonight is right for love
The rain is falling and Jay Leno is on
Let's turn down the lights, turn up the volume
And go crazy
I'll touch your body and soul
And change the channels with remote control
'Cause tonight is right for love with Meredith Baxter-Birney