[Intro]
Uh, yeah, fo' sho'
Fishes be coming at me like "Yo, yo Joe man
You're the best frycook, dawg" (fraz baby)
I be like (Flipped from front to back) "Respect man" (Respect)
These fake fishes done lowered the bar, you know what I'm sayin?

[Verse 1]
Fishes be like, “Joe, you ain't never burned”
Fuck the janitor, my cooking been solidified
Still put the kelp fries on the side
Bitch, if you a plankton, then pay me, no never mind
I was cookin’, gеt that patty shipment then I let it freezе
Take a patty off the grill and let that motherfucker breathe
Sit outside of Plankton’s crib and let that motherfucker leave
Walk my ass right in and shoot Miss Karen in the motherboard
Cookin, never takin' patties off too early
Might accidentally burn it, but I’d rather take my chances
This kelp shake got me lurkin’ where you workin’ at the night shift
69 patties to the left, but I’m in my right mind
Cookin’, apron gon be sagging till I’m 40
Culinarily sharper than these stupid ass fishes
Krabby ain't gon throw me in this infomercial
Let Plankton see how far up in his mouth my sponge can go
So go ahead, choke on this patty visit Chum on repeat
Might get promoted but I’m always gon belong to Bikini

[Chorus]
I'm straight cookin', uh
And it tastes so good, uh, and it looks so right
Uh, yeah, and it tastes so good
Uh, and it looks so right
'Cause mothafucka I'm cookin’

[Verse 2]
Selling you the science of the formula
Every time I cook, I’m takin crabs right off the crab rack
I done been through boating school, I’m trying not to repeat that
Tryna feed customers, give a fuck about your food review
Patties are acclaimed but that shit don’t mean a thing
When you putting patties in the microwave, cooking kelp
Go jellyfishin’ other days, I’m too cold for those fishing nets
Don’t let nobody squash yo booty when the door close, Plankton
Sandy let me hit it cause I’m cookin’
Fishes need not apply, so fly, might serve her cousin
Swiftly bout to serve some sweet kelp to your sweetheart
Then get some groceries off Mr. Krabs’ EBT card
Why the feds worried bout me clocking in this day shift
When there’s prawns and fishes out here getting drowned in Arizona?

[Chorus]
Bitch I’m cookin', uh
And it tastes so good, uh, and it looks so right
Uh, yeah, and it tastes so good
Uh, and it looks so right
'Cause mothafucka I'm cookin’
[Verse 3]
We’re not against Chum but we’re against Plankton
Can’t be legit when every spongy in your clique sold kelp
Predicate fishes in the Krusty Krab, real crabs can vouch for me
Teach a squid how to flip or customers might cop a meal from me
And smoke kelp in our boat with us
Cause in the past, my low-class sponge ass would cook for my own fuckin family members
I hate to say it, ain't no need to cook discreet
If she don’t buy from me, she get it from the plankton up the street
Cause he cookin’, and yeah, she’d probably suck his dick for it
(I don't even know how that's possible)
It turned out, Chum ain't shit so she turned to Krusty
My boss’ last fish made patties in the plastic
Tried to feed himself, opened the freezer and got blasted
Patties on borrowed time, expiration date, they passed it
So lock Krabs up forever for poisoning the masses

[Chorus]
I’m cookin', uh
And it tastes so good, uh, and it looks so right
Uh, yeah, and it tastes so good
Uh, and it looks so right
'Cause mothafucka I'm cookin'