Heywood Banks
Big Butter Jesus
In southern Ohio
Just north of Cincinnati
I beheld a vision
Next to the expressway
Was a 60-foot Jesus
With his hands in the air
Looked like he's carved out of butter
Just like at the state fair
Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
O country-fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
O promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can't believe it's not Jesus
Oleo Lord
Well you see him from his chest up
Like he's about to do a backflip
Or maybe scored a touchdown
Or maybe melting or about to drown
You know I been to the state fair
Seen a calf made out of golden corn
Stephen Hawking out of string cheese
And the virgin out of olives
Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
O country-fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
O promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can't believe it's not Jesus
Oleo Lord
Shipped in pieces on a flatbed
Staring backwards was his big head
Drivers stuck in traffic backups
Desperately avoiding eye contact
Well don't you make no graven images
I think it's one of the ten commandments
I hope the grading curve is kindly
You get into heaven with a ninety
Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
O country-fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
O promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can't believe it's not Jesus
Oleo Lord
One night Big Butter
Got hit by lightning
It burned to the frame wire
Like a giant grease fire
Some blamed it on Satan
And boy, that would be frightening
But I thought it was Jesus’ father
Who was in charge of lightning
Extra crispy Jesus
Flaming shot Jesus
Fireball Jesus
Opa Jesus
Charbroiled marshmallow Jesus
Bananas foster Jesus
I’m put out it’s not Jesus
Charcoaly lord