You can be mean to me
Mean as you want to be
Just say anything that you like
You can be nasty and catty
And cruel and unusual
Twist my nose with your fingers
Trip me while I carry liquids

But as you pin me down
My arms down on the ground
As your spit drips into my face
Deep in the back of your mind
Remember at some point you'll have to fall asleep

And when you fall asleep
Into your room I'll creep
Did something move in the dark 'neath your bed?
And then a voice you hear
Calling out loud and clear
A voice that is your own
A voice that's saying, "Aaaaigh!!"

There're things that one can do
With Ben-Gay, Nair, and Super Glue
A package of indelible dye
Why would a guy such as I
Ever buy indelible dye
Blue as the sky
Don't ask me why
The catalog I found
Sells roaches by the pound
Millipedes, centipedes too
They say the meek shall inherit
Because they stay up late and change the will

And when you fall asleep
Into your room I'll creep
Did something move in the dark 'neath your bed?
And then a voice you hear
It's calling loud and clear
A voice that is your own
A voice that's saying, "Aaaaigh!!"