[Verse 1: JP Harris & Nikki Lane]
You're the reason I'm a-ridin' around on re-cap tires
And you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on wires

[Chorus: Together]
You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Oh, but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
And I love you just the same

[Verse 2: JP Harris & Nikki Lane]
You're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop
You're the reason I'll never get to go to the beauty shop

[Chorus: Together]
You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Oh, but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
And I love you just the same

[Bridge: Together]
I guess that we won't ever have everything we need
'Cause when we get ahead just got another mouth to feed

[Verse 3: JP Harris & Nikki Lane]
And that's the reason that my good looks and my figure's goin'
That's the reason that I ain't got no hair to comb
[Chorus: Together]
You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Oh, but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
And I love you just the same

[Spoken Outro]
Oh now, JP, why in the devil won't you go and shave and put on a clean pair of pants?
Well Nikki, look at yourself! I wish you'd take them curlers outta your hair, put on a little bit of make-up, and get outta that house-coat before suppertime
Huh! Well let me tell you, JP: after everything I've been through today, I think I look like a movie star
Oh yeah? Well, like Wilford Brimley!
Well besides that, all our kids took after your part of the family anyway
Oh yeah, did they, huh?
Yeah, what about the ones all covered in hair?
Well, haha, I guess you got me there!