"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Richard Cheese, thank you. You know, I've been dreaming about a little town out Nevada way. And even when I can't be there, I still think about it every day...."

Every day my brain goes on a trip
All roads lead me to the strip
You say potato, I say chips
I've got Vegas on my mind

I only buy cherries in a set of three
A baby diaper means craps to me
Adele's 21 album? That's blackjack! See?
I've got Vegas on my mind

I watch "Full House," I shop at Ace Hardware
And every 7-Eleven is nice
When I see an onion
My immediate thought is dice

A plastic fork dispenser is a slot machine
My salads are Caesars, I wear Lucky Jeans
And that's where you'll find a hard seventeen
I've got Vegas on my mind

(instrumental break)

When I see a hubcap I think roulette
The elevator buttons are a keno bet
And there's a royal flush in my toilet
I've got Vegas on my mind
My chest X-ray shows prime ribs
I've got a Flamingo in my yard
My fireplace has a poker
And when I can't fall asleep, I count cards

I'll buy a cozy casino just for me and you
I can't wait to see that deluxe strip view
Tonight my credit score is 702
I've got Vegas on my mind

I've got an itch
To get rich
I've got Vegas on my mind