If God didn't want me to play with myself
He wouldn't have given me pockets
If God had intended that life never ended
Why did the bugger make death

If God didn't want me to tear out my eyes
He wouldn't have given them sockets
So I took a spoke and poked out my eye
He moves in mysterious ways

If God hadn't wanted transvestites
He wouldn't have made me attractive
Dressed up in dresses, my guess he blesses
The beautiful just for being naive

If God had required me to stay with you
He wouldn't have given me railways
You remain in the cave, I'm riding the train
Much requires much of Marines

If God didn't mean me to kill people
He wouldn't have given them life, would he
If God didn't want mean to murder that cockney
Why did he give me this knife

(It only stands to reason, don't it
It's only logical
There's a reason behind everything
Everything that happens in this life, dear
It's his message, isn't it
He put the knife right in my hand)
But God did believe in my freedom
That's why he put me between prison walls
Here in my cell, I'm living to tell you
He moves in mysterious ways

If God didn't mean me to hang myself
Why make this hook in the ceiling
And why make bananas, sheets and pajamas
He moves in mysterious ways