Once upon a time and a very good time it was
There was a moocow coming down along the road
And this moocow that was down along the road
Met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo
His father told him that story
His father looked at him through a glass: he had a hairy face
He was baby tuckoo. The moocow came down the road where Betty Byrne lived
She sold lemon platt

O, the wild rose blossoms
On the little green place
He sang that song. That was his song
O, the green wothe botheth

When you wet the bed, first it's warm then it gets cold
His mother put on the oilsheet. That had the queer smell
His mother had a nicer smell than his father
She played on the piano the sailor's hornpipe for him to dance. He danced

Tralala lala
Tralala tralaladdy
Tralala lala
Tralala lala

Uncle Charles and Dante clapped
They were older than his father and mother
But uncle Charles was older than Dante
Dante had two brushes in her press
The brush with the maroon velvet back was for Michael Davitt
And the brush with the green velvet back was for Parnell
Dante gave him a cachou every time he brought her a piece of tissue paper
The Vances lived in number seven. They had a different father and mother
They were Eileen's father and mother
When they were grown up he was going to marry Eileen
He hid under the table. His mother said

O, Stephen will apologize

Dante said
O, if not, the eagles will come and pull out his eyes
Pull out his eyes
Apologize
Apologize
Pull out his eyes

Apologize
Pull out his eyes
Pull out his eyes
Apologize