[Verse 1]
If a rocket tried to launch on its own, it couldn't do it
It's propelled into orbit by boosters attached to it
These are called "stages," and when their fuel's exhausted
The rocket keeps goin', but the stage falls off it
Now I need your attention like a tourist attraction
'Cause I'm making an announcement, like, "Folks, it's the captain"
As of now it's official, like a stage disattachin'
I am finished with the stage name "MC Mr. Napkins
Look, I needed that name to rock the stage
At an earlier stage of my career
But now it's like a used-up stage on a rocket ship
And it's time to let it fall away and disappear

[Chorus]
My stage name, my stage name
I'm saying goodbye to my stage name
I will keep writing rhymes hot enough to set the page aflame
But I'm saying goodbye to my stage name

[Verse 2]
When I began performing in my old Cambridge, Massachusetts haunts (?)
I had all these gimmicks, bells and whistles, and accoutrements
A huge curly ponytail, voluminous locks
A special coat, a bandana, and the old-school-est, boomin'-est box
With which I'd play my instrumentals and tracks
I would rap wearing batting gloves with Ns on the back
These props helped me stand out, and they got me in character
Would rapping have been scarier without all that there?
For sure, but as time passed, and the stage fright receded
I dropped the props, they were no longer quite needed
And that's how the name feels now, I'm not mad that I had it
I've just outgrown it, and I'm ready to shed it and move past it
'Cause at best it feels neutral, but at worst I feel it makes people dismiss me
As another wacky comedy rap goofball
And on the one hand, who cares?
But on the other, let's be honest:
It's provoked some negative responses
Like when a club booker said she hated it
Or when my friend asked me to open a show
But then the promoter said no when my friend told him about my alias
Or how I felt a painful, shameful twinge
When my uncle, who I love, said that when he heard the name it made him cringe
That sucked, it stung and troubled me
But I didn't buckle or knuckle under, I stuck to my guns stubbornly
They couldn't make me quit or fire me
I'm retiring the name and this decision's mine entirely
So look up in the sky and see me flyin' even higher
Desist from rappin'? That's not a thing I wish to happen, it's the passion
Don't think the rocket ship's a-crashin'
I'm just forging forward as Zach Sherwin, not MC Mr. Napkins
[Chorus]
My stage name, my stage name
I'm saying goodbye to my stage name
My stage name, my stage name
I'm saying goodbye to my stage name
My stage name, my stage name
I'm saying goodbye to my stage name
I will never stop the hip-hop
That will always stay the same
But I'm saying goodbye to my stage name

[Outro]
I had to switch it up, of that fact I became certain
And I can feel my rocket's crackly flame burnin'
I used to be the Mr. Napkins-renamed person
Now, I'm just Zachary James Sherwin