[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
DR SEUSS
VS
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
BEGIN!

[Verse 1: William Shakespeare]
Come bite my thumb, I hope you know the stakes
I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades then ask what light through yonder poser breaks?
I hath been iambic on that ass, ye bastard
My rhymes are classic, your crap is drafted by a kindergart'ner high on acid
Ye hoebag, you're an old white Soulja Boy who has no swag
And no gonads, egads, it's so sad
And to top it off, you're not a doctor, I've never seen a softer author
You crook, you, I bet you wrote The Twilight books too

[Verse 2: The Cat In The Hat]
I would not could not on a boat read any of the boring ass plays you wrote
Even Horton doesn't want to hear you and Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you
You bore people to death, you leave a classroom looking like the end of MacBeth
I entertain a child of any age, you gotta translate what you said on the opposite page
How you gonna battle with the Cat in The Hat? Little kids get scared when I step on the mat
You think your ruffled neck ass gonna rap to that? I got a best selling book about me coming back

[Verse 3: William Shakespeare]
I'm switching up my style like the Beatles with my pieces, each is such a wonder with a plethora of features
You're pathetically predictable, you think your new book might include a trisyllabic meter and some ghetto Muppet creatures
The Bard is in the building, it's a castle, I'm a boss, I bet I'm Parliament, I'm positive, I'm killing it, I'm iller
Than the plague I never caught or cholera, a baller baller on some cricket bowler business while you're sitting in the bleachers
[Verse 4: The Cat In The Hat, Thing 1 & Thing 2]
You rap fast, you do, yes, you rap fast, it's true
Now let's see how you rap versus Things 1 and 2!
Oh, no, we'll smash your Globe
Yo, you may have wrote the script but now we running the show
You can take your fancy words and send 'em back home to your mama
Break our foot off in your ass with our feetie pajamas
Man, we'll cook you up and eat you with some ham and green eggs
We'll break off'a your legs, make no mistake, we in a rage
All does not end well when we bust out our cage
You gettin' upstaged Bill, yo, you just got played!

[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
PIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!