[Intro]
This is the story of Alice
Told without any malice

[Chorus]
Alice is loved by Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Alice is very beautiful
Is beautiful, is beautiful, is beautiful
Except for one little thing

[Verse 1]
Her nose, it glows
It's red, and it's graphic
And lights up in traffic

[Chorus]
But Alice is loved by Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Alice is very beautiful
Is beautiful, is beautiful, is beautiful
Except for one little thing

[Verse 2]
Her ears, appears
Like two filet mignons
She wears them in chignons
Her ears, appears (Her nose, it glows)
Like two filet mignons (It's red, and it's graphic)
She wears them in chignons (It lights up in traffic)
[Chorus]
But Alice is loved by Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Alice is very beautiful
Is beautiful, is beautiful, is beautiful
Except for one little thing

[Verse 3]
Her tooth for sooth
Now, what could be droller?
A smile with one molar
Her tooth for sooth (Her ears, appears)
Now, what could be droller? (Like two filet mignons)
A smile with one molar (She wears them in chignons)
Her tooth for sooth (Her nose, it glows)
Now, what could be droller? (It's red, and it's graphic)
A smile with one molar (And lights up in traffic)

[Chorus]
But Alice is loved by Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Alice is very beautiful
Is beautiful, is beautiful, is beautiful
Except for one little thing

[Verse 4]
Her hair, despair
You've heard of a crewcut?
She got nothing to cut
Her hair, despair (Her tooth, for sooth)
You've heard of a crewcut? (Now, what could be droller?)
She got nothing to cut (A smile with one molar)
Her hair, despair (Her ears, appears)
You've heard of a crewcut? (Like two filet mignons)
She got nothing to cut (She wears them in chignons)
Her hair, despair (Her nose, it glows)
You've heard of a crewcut? (It's red, and it's graphic)
She got nothing to cut (And lights up in traffic)
[Chorus]
But Alice is loved by Algernon
And there's no wondering (Wondering)
For Alice is very beautiful
Is beautiful, is beautiful, is beautiful

[Outro]
Tra-la, la-la, la-la-la
Tra-la, la-la, la-la-la
Tra-la (Tra-la)
Tra-la (Tra-la)
Tra-la, la-la, la-la-la