[Intro]
You've heard of the story Alice
Told without any malice

[Chorus]
Alice is fond of Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Algy is quite a handsome lad
A handsome lad, a handsome lad, a handsome lad
Except for one little thing

[Verse 1]
His skin, chagrin
It's veiny and spotted
And speckled and dotted

[Chorus]
But Alice is fond of Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Algy is quite a handsome lad
A handsome lad, a handsome lad, a handsome lad
Except for one little thing

[Verse 2]
His voice, rejoice
It's cackled, it's chronic
And stereophonic
His voice, rejoice (His skin, chagrin)
It's cackled, it's chronic (It's veiny and spotted)
And stereophonic (And speckled and dotted)
[Chorus]
But Alice is fond of Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Algy is quite a handsome lad
A handsome lad, a handsome lad, a handsome lad
Except for one little thing

[Verse 3]
His beard, it's weird
It's terribly horrid
And grows from his forehead
His beard, it's weird (His voice, rejoice)
It's terribly horrid (It's cackled, it's chronic)
And grows from his forehead (And stereophonic)
His beard, it's weird (His skin, chagrin)
It's terribly horrid (It's veiny and spotted)
And grows from his forehead (And speckled and dotted)

[Chorus]
But Alice is fond of Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Algy is quite a handsome lad
A handsome lad, a handsome lad, a handsome lad
Except for one little thing

[Verse 4]
His eyes, surprise
He dips them in highballs
To wash out the eyeballs
His eyes, surprise (His beard, it's weird)
He dips them in highballs (It's terribly horrid)
To wash out the eyeballs (And grows from his forehead)
His eyes, surprise (His voice, rejoice)
He dips them in highballs (It's cackled, it's chronic)
To wash out the eyeballs (And stereophonic)
His eyes, surprise (His skin, chagrin)
He dips them in highballs (It's veiny and spotted)
To wash out the eyeballs (And speckled and dotted)
[Chorus]
But Alice is fond of Algernon
And there's no wondering (Wondering)
For Algy is quite a handsome lad
A handsome lad, a handsome lad, a handsome lad

[Outro]
Tra-la, la-la, la-la-la
Tra-la, la-la, la-la-la
Tra-la (Tra-la)
Tra-la (Tra-la)
Tra-la, la-la-la, la-la
La-la, la-la-la, la-la
La-la, la-la-la, la-la
La-la, la-la-la, la-la
Tra-la
Tra-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
La