[RANDY] We are back with my guest, a woman who sells more fiction J.K. Rowling, Kellyanne Conartist Conway. Kellyanne Conway. Sorry, I always do that. Um, Kellyanne, we are weeks into Donald Trump's presidency and already he is firing everyone who doesn't agree with him. Now, didn't these people take an oath to defend the constitution and not pander to the whim of an arrogant demagogic man-baby whose only true loyalty is to himself? ...I'm asking for a friend
[KELLYANNE CONWAY] Every president has the right, really has the right, to surround himself with a team who's going to work with him. He is calling for extreme vetting from seven countries that President Obama first identified. I bet there was very little coverage. I bet, I bet it's brand new information to people that President Obama had a six-month ban on the Iraqi refugee program after two Iraqis came here and were radicalized and they were the masterminds behind the Bowling Green Massacre
[RANDY] Well, I think that's new information because, you know, it never f*****g happened
[CONWAY] You can't just look at what's happened. This man ran on a stronger and safer United States of America and, more important, just as...
[RANDY] Fact-checker, fact-checker
Find me some facts
I can't keep up
I can't relax
I thought that facts fictionalize
Were called something else, like lies
You be the sleuth
So many tweets
So little truth
Help me keep track because they seem to be
What's up with Kellyanne Conway?
In what alternate world does she live?
She acts more self-righteous than Kanye
And all of her facts are alternative
Is this legit?
Siri, you there?
Google this sh*t
Sift through his sycophants, comb through his clan
And find me some facts, if you can
Donald, oh Donald, the media just lied
There was a massacre at Bowling Green
Alright, so no one died
But it's a good, a real fact
So tweet out some distraction
In case they give us flack
I think he's black
Ooh, Spicer! Sean Spicer!
Go out and make a claim
The inauguration crowd was huge!
Alright, so no one came
But it's a good fact, a great fact
Deny the ban on Muslims
And say it's their mistake
And when they say you're lying
Just call 'em fake
[SEAN SPICER, spoken] In fact, actually, the Obama administration identi- Obama administration...
[RANDY, spoken] What?
[RANDY, sung] Fact-checker, fact-checker
Even just one
That might be fun
Help counteract the inaccuracy
And find just one fact for me
Obama, come get back in your bubble
I know you're on vacay with Michelle
It's not that the country's in trouble
You know, we're okay
It's just - we're in hell
I'm so alone
Where is the truth
I've come to know?
I'm 'bout to move in with Justin Trudeau
So bulldoze her bull
Trash through his tweets
Dig through his wigs
Audit his tax
And find me some f******g facts
[RANDY, spoken] Our hearts go out to the victims of Bowling Green