Now Govan is a busy place upon a Friday night
And the billiard halls down there are busy too
An' there's many a strongly fancied lad been rattled in a fight
For fiddlin' wi' the colours and the cue

[Chorus]
Oh don't stan' and look aroun' when the cues are upside down
And the balls are flying fast from far and near
For whether you're tae blame, ye'd be better safe at hame
When they're handing out the stitches in your ear

Now 'twas on a certain Friday I went down to a saloon
For I'd heard some fancy things about this dive
So I moved up to a table where two lads were trying hard
To win three sets of snooker out of five

[Chorus]
Oh don't stan' and look aroun' when the cues are upside down
And the balls are flying fast from far and near
For whether you're tae blame, ye'd be better safe at hame
When they're handing out the stitches in your ear

There were nearly four score Govan boys wi' bunnets tae the fore
Standing round upon the benches looking grim
For the word had got around that one chap was three sets down
And his chances now were getting mighty slim
[Chorus]
Oh don't stan' and look aroun' when the cues are upside down
And the balls are flying fast from far and near
For whether you're tae blame, ye'd be better safe at hame
When they're handing out the stitches in your ear

One half of this mob had bet their dough upon the losing guy
And the rest were on the boy whose game was made
But the leary, losing punters knew that when the game was by
The other mob just weren't getting paid

[Chorus]
Oh don't stan' and look aroun' when the cues are upside down
And the balls are flying fast from far and near
For whether you're tae blame, ye'd be better safe at hame
When they're handing out the stitches in your ear

Now the cool-dab lad, the winning boy, was lined up for the kill
He was sticking home the points in fives and threes
When the losing rascal calls, as he jiggles up the balls
'That's all, the gem's a bogie if you please!'

[Chorus]
Oh don't stan' and look aroun' when the cues are upside down
And the balls are flying fast from far and near
For whether you're tae blame, ye'd be better safe at hame
When they're handing out the stitches in your ear