Hank!
They say he stole all he knew from a black man who
Spent his life on a corner shining white man's shoes
And he only wore that cowboy hat because he was bald
So drunk and ornery he ended up with no friends at all
Everyone who was there has got to write about it
They know something bad they got to scream and shout it
The King of country music pissing in his pants again
I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then

Karen!
They say she had the most beautiful voice
But I'd take Wanda or Sandy if I had my choice
And she could play the drums and even while wearing a dress
But Hal Blaine would take over when they needed the best
Everyone who was there has got to write about it
They know something bad they got to scream and shout it
She starved herself to death with no brother to stop her
But he helps remember her now through a special TV offer

Elvis!
That TV blew up when he leveled his gun
And he wasn't gobbling down piles of pills just for fun
And all that kinky sex with those would-be queens
Can't wait to see the film shot in between the scenes
Secretary, wife and critic all scrambled to tell
They know something bad and they got something to sell
The King of rock 'n' roll buried in Eskimo Pies
But what he did's still the same and you know everyone dies