[EMCEE, spoken]
Ladies and gentleman, Miss Velma Kelly in an act of desperation

[VELMA]
My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop
My sister and I were headed straight for the top
My sister and I earned a thou' a week at least... oh, yeah
But my sister is now unfortunately deceased
I know it's sad, of course, but a fact is still a fact
And now all that remains is the remains of a perfect... double... act!
(spoken)
Watch this
(sung)
First I'd, tchbasmovi tchbasmovi and that's the drums
Then she'd, woun-woun woun-woun, saxophone
Then we'd... Together!
But I can't do it alone

Then she'd...
Then I'd...
Then we'd...
But I can't do it alone

She'd say "what's your sister like?"
I'd say "men" ya ya ya
She'd say "you're the cat's meow"
Then we'd wow the crowd again
When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...

And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down
(spoken)
And we'd say "Ok, guys. Ok, fellas, we're goin' home, but here's a few more partin' shots"
And this—this we did in perfect unison...
(sung)
Now you see me going through it
You may think there's nothing to it
But I simply cannot do it
Alone