This is a story about a guy named Guybrush Threepwood. It involved voodoo, ghosts, and most importantly, pirates and gold

Guybrush was walking along the road one sunny day humming a tune and thinking of stuff, like he always does. But then, out of the blue, he had a gut feeling to visit the voodoo lady, so he did

The voodoo lady told Guybrush that his life was in danger. Apparently, LeChuck had secret plans to sic a thousand rabid monkeys on Guybrush. “That’s not very nice,” said Guybrush stupidly. But before he could talk anymore, he heard the squeaking of a thousand rabid monkeys coming around the mountain

(monkey sounds)

Guybrush quickly ran from the voodoo lady’s home and hid behind some trees. He watched in tеrror as the monkeys tore thе voodoo lady’s home apart, flinging potions and their own excrement everywhere, and I mean everywhere

(monkey sounds stop)

Guybrush was soon on the run from the monkeys but they were gaining on him fast. He had to do something, or he would die. Then, suddenly, with extreme luck, he was able to send the monkeys to Siberia in an incredibly complicated series of well-though-out traps

Now for the intermission

Yeah, well, it seemed like Guybrush was free from the wrath of the monkeys. (monkey sounds) He decided to go to Stan’s Previously Owned Diseases, but then he got an even better idea: he continued on his quest for his one and only love, Elaine. And so his long and treacherous journey began. I’ll leave the details up to your imagination

Okay, it seemed that Guybrush’s search was nearing an end, when a mysterious beared old man tipped Guybrush off that Elaine was somewhere in Siberia. Guybrush remembered that the rabid monkeys were in Siberia, sensed a trick, and immediately punched the old man in the face (punching noise). Four times (three more punching noises). “Oh, please stop,” said the old man, but Guybrush just kept on punching (punching noises) and punching (more punching noises) until finally, the old man collapsed, and Guybrush walked away with a smirk. of course, Guybrush is pretty stupid. He went to Siberia anyway. When he arrived, he was greeted by a thousand rabid monkeys, (monkey sounds) and viciously ripped apart. The end

Oh, wait. I read that wrong. he discovered that the monkeys had left in search of him, and were currently on a ship to where they last saw him. I had you going there for a second, didn’t I? Okay, now for the rest of the story. During his stay in Siberia, Guybrush was repeatedly attacked by various asassins from LeChuck. Soon he was able to track them down and find LeChuck’s evil fortress of evilness. He defeated LeChuck, yadda yadda, found Elaine, blah, and lived happily ever after. You can tell I’m rushing this, but I’m getting sick of all this. I’m sure you are too. Hey, this reminds me of the time my old English teach caught me chewing bubble gum in the bathtub. I told him, “Mr. Butnik, I’m not gonna take it anymore!” Then he pulled out the cane and gave me a whoopin’ I’ll never forget, and that’s when I realized that (punching noise)