A mask of my own face
I'd wear that, I'd wear that
I'd wear that mask of my own face
I'd wear that, I'd wear that

My basement, uh
Gonna show you my beautiful basement
Where the concrete floor feels cool to the touch
I'll turn up the heat if it's too much
I'll turn on the light bulb on the wire
Turn on the dehumidifier
I'm serious when I flick this next switch
Look you in the eye, and I say "check this"

I'd wear it to a hoedown, and I'd dance with all the belles
(My trains, uh)
(My trains, uh)
And none of them would know that I was secretly myself
(I got small ones, tiny little trains)
(I come down here just to get away)
I'd rob my own apartment and I wouldn't give a damn
(My trains, ah!)
(My trains, ah-ah!)
I'd blame it on the person that nobody knows I am
(It's like magic, magic trains)
(I wish these trains could take me away)
I look into my eyeholes, what do I see?
(Chugga chugga, woo-woo)
(Look into my eyeholes, what do you see?)
(Chugga chugga, woo-woo)
I look into my eyeholes and what do I see?
(Chugga chugga, woo-woo)
A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me
(Chugga chugga, woo-woo)

A mask of my own face
(Jaws, the shark, a-lurking in the dark)
(Of the depths of the sea, one day on a lark)
I'd wear that, I'd wear that
(Decides to get rowdy, get real violent)
(Takes a vay-cay out to Amity Island)
I'd wear that mask of my own face
(Sunshine, lotion, fun in the sun)
(Blood in the ocean, everybody run!)
I'd wear that, I'd wear that
('Cause it's crazy how few fucks this shark gives)
(He'll eat naked ladies! He'll eat little kids!)
(Oh no!)

In the club, the Model Railroad Club
A motherfucker said shit about my trains
Might as well have took a shit on my brain
'Cause I went insane
(But the one thing keeping the community safe)
I laid track on his ass with a styrofoam bat
(Is a guy named Brody and his pal Richard Dreyfuss)
But the president never did let me back after that
(Jaws don't know that a storm's gonna come)
Shit, I said, "Fuck you
(He just wants everyone to be his chum, get it?)
Who the fuck needs a punk ass choo-choo crew anywho?"
(Get it)
I'd wear it on Thanksgiving and I'd laugh in the parade
(My trains, uh)
(My trains, uh)
At all the people hissing, knowing I'm the one they hate
(I got small ones, tiny little trains)
(I come down here just to get away)
And at the big finale I would tear my face away
(My trains, ah!)
(M-m-m-m-my trains, ah-ah!)
And smile as they grip their own and try to do the same
(It's like magic, magic trains)
I wish these trains could take me awa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

I had a dream that I was wearing a really cool wig
(A really cool wig, a really cool wig)
(Two trucks having sex)
'Cause I was Google Image searching for a really cool wig
(A really cool wig, a really cool wig)
(Two trucks having sex)

And it was really cool, and it was really fly
(My muscles, my muscles)
I wish I could remember what the fuck it looked like
(Two trucks having sex)
Most of my friends were jealous, except my blind friends
(Two trucks having sex)
The mayor don't care if the townsfolk die
(Adrian Brody, Adrian Brody)
He doesn't wanna spoil the fourth of July
(Adrian Brody, Adrian Brody)
He's like, "Everyone cool it, and go for a swim!"
(Adrian Brody, Adrian Brody)
But holy shit, here comes that fin!

(Chugga chugga, woo-woo)
I look into my eyeholes and what do I see?
(Chugga chugga, woo-woo)
(Look into my eyeholes, tell me what you see)

I lie here every night
I feel like if I focus
And think of getting smaller
I'll gradually get smaller

And if I get small enough
(I look into my eyeholes and what do I see?)
My trains will seem much bigger
(A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me)
And I'll be the conductor, the tiniest conductor

And I was at a party hanging out with Mos Def
(Two trucks having sex)
(Ooh-wee-ooh, wee-ooh-ooh...)
Nobody else was dancing so I danced with Mos Def
(Two trucks having sex)
(I danced with Mos Def, I danced with Mos Def)
(My muscles, my muscles, involuntarily flex)

We did an awesome dance, we had an awesome time
(Two pickup trucks, making love)
We started making out, but then some pizza arrived (Fuck yes!)

Adrian Brody
(Merry Christmas!)