Once upon a time there was a school called Degrassi
And the children in attendance were all fat and sassy
Except for one little boy, and his name was Rick
People pushed him around until he turned into a prick
And took a gun, took a gun, took a very big gun
To Degrassi, to have himself a little bit of fun
And bang, shot Jimmy, and pointed it at Emma
With Sean in the way, oh, what a big dilemma

But then Rick died, and everything was fine
Except Ashley's kinda freakin' out cause Craig lost his mind
And proposed at a party with his puppy dog eyes
But Ashley refused, and what a big surprise
When he cried like a baby, and went back to his hotel
And fucked up the room, and stuck Joey with the bill
Then he went to a wedding, and acted like a whore
Then he kicked Joeys ass, and then he cried a little more

Hey, remember back when Manny and JT were going out?
And JT was doing good, but then began to doubt
That his little stack of dimes could measure up to Craig's
When he saw it in the locker room between Craig's legs
So in order to get him out of his romantic slump
Some black kid gave him a magic penis pump
But Manny found out, and to make matters worse
It turned out that Mr. Raditch used it first
Well Paige got raped, and Marco is gay
Spinner gets boners and farts all day
Toby is a dork, and Liberty is too
Snake's got cancer up the wazoo
Sean's on his own, and Ellie likes to cut
Alex is a bitch, and Manny is a slut
Emma's kinda whiny, and Terri got hit
Hazel doesn't ever seem to do jack shit

Degrassi is my favorite thing
When the theme song plays I always have to sing
I hope that it never goes off the air
I'd even miss Spinner's hair