[Verse 1]
They call me Mr. Carbohydrate
It's the only thing I can digest
Xenophobia or a general disinterest
I must catch up with all this stuff

They call me a boring fuckhead
They say I might as well work in a bank
I tell them I wish I was
They tell me that I'm sick in the head
They say that I'm sick in the head

[Chorus]
They call me Mr. Carbohydrate
They call me Mr. Inadequate
They call me Mr. Paranoia
They call me Mr. Hypochondria

[Verse 2]
Have you heard of Matthew Maynard?
He's my favourite cricketer
I would rather watch him play than pick up my guitar
Than play with my guitar

People tell me I should get out more
But the TV is my best friend
Cynicism is the only thing that keeps me sane
The only thing that keeps me sane
[Chorus]
They call me Mr. Carbohydrate
They call me Mr. Inadequate
They call me Mr. Paranoia
They call me Mr. Hypochondria

[Outro]
Sometimes I just stay in bed
And think about the day
When I can retire
Forgetting everything
I'll forget everything

Forget everything
Forever but not today
When I cannot, cannot say
No more yesterdays
No more yesterdays