[SIDNEY]
Just look at that lucky guy
Sittin’ there, bein’ hip
Makin’ music to make ya’ die

(spoken)

Next life, Sidney, piano lessons

(singing)

This life, ya’ got whatcha’ got
Whatcha’ got is a pip
You’re a chicken in a chicken pot
So do your dance, shake your tail
Sell your wares, make a sale

(spoken)

Get a client, any client
Maybe mister music
Why not?

Man, you’re good!

(singing)
You’re good enough to make it
I could help you take it up a tone
You need a way to get your name out
To make it known
I could get behind ya’ like a bass trombone

I could get’cha in J.J
I could start’cha off big
And we’d only be puttin’ out copy that you dig

(spoken)

Gimme fifty bucks
I could start you up

[DALLAS, spoken]
I don’t want any part of J.J
I’m doin’ it on my own

[SIDNEY, spoken]
Hey, you wanna be playin’ no-name doves the rest of your life?
Okay, enjoy yourself

Approach the starlet

(singing)
Pardon my French
But honey, you’re a killer
Readin’ Arthur Miller at the bar
I betcha’ crazy ‘bout the method
The type you are
Me? I got a method that could take ya’ far

I could get’cha in J.J
I could take ya’ so fast
That in Gotham or Hollywood
You’re the one to cast

[SUSAN, spoken]
I don’t want my name in a column

[SIDNEY, spoken]
I’m try’na help a new face!
Smile!
And that dress, more low cut
Remember Lana Turner

[SUSAN, spoken]
Lana Turner?

[SIDNEY, spoken]
Lana was always well turned out
So when she sat at the soda fountain
At Schwabs drug store
On that magic day the talent scouts saw her
Lana was ready for her life to begin!
The Voodoo Club could be your Schwabs!
(singing)

I knew the moment I met you
I said “she could get those juicy jobs”
You wanna bet me?
First just let me get’cha in J.J
I could give you the blitz
And the rest o’ the ingénues
They’d be havin’ fits

J.J.’s more than a column
He’s the bone and the blood
He’s the spine, the spinal column
And he’s my buddy! He’s my bud!

I could get’cha in J.J

[SUSAN, spoken]
Sure you can!

[SIDNEY]
I could call him right now!

[SUSAN, spoken]
No! No!

[SIDNEY]
I could do the five w’s
Who, what, where, when, wow

I could call him right now!