[Verse 1: Heath McNease]
Ya love that skibbidy bibbidy
Love it when the nine go kickity kickity
Lean back cold on my Lemony Snicket-y
Split sec, gone like lickity lickity
Who that chick in the thick it a-whippety
Did he fall back on a typical remedy?
He can fall back on a literal litany
Sooner or later gonna be Jiminy Crickety
Real tall when they missing amenities
Down to the floor like a fricking anemone
Geppetto with the string work, living divinity
Das FX boom stiggidy stiggidy
Cut that string in a minutey-minutey
Never act grown-up, let him begin to be
Boom dollar bills, naw, gimme the Kennedys
Bump Kennedys, naw, give me the benjis
Benji's, naw, gimme the blank check
Arrested development are doing a band camp
Bounce but they ain't ever done the train yet
ATL where they smoke the dankest
Diggity dang aw lookety man
Why your girl look so Yosemite Sam
You know I've never really been a finicky man
I'm in the back going ham in a rickety van
Where they got the curtains
No field goal, two point conversion
Quarterback keep on the cornerback beat
But the cornerback be all-pro for certain
OJ ,Thurman, Walter Peyton
Midway monster Occam's Razor
Feel I'm being hunted down
By Jodie Foster's stalker's neighbor
I make a lot of paper, you make it awkward, player
I'm on my net profit--soccer player
[Hook]
Ladies love me, I'm on my James Brown
I do my slow flow, they say they ain't down
But when I'm choppin' they call me Cool J
And that's just white girls, what more can you say?

[Bridge]
This for the white people, all of the white people
The y'all-ain't-never-heard-De-La-Soul-in-ya-life people
For the white people, all the white people
We the same color, y'all just ain't my type people

[Verse 2: Heir Jordan]
I don't know how to time this out
Uh, yeah

Lady and gentleman, may I present again
The magical man is coming to make your adrenaline
Pump pump and I ain't even taking my Ritalin
But I'll take you on a date eatin' steak at a Bennigans
Naw, wait, I couldn't even pay for the dinner mints
I'm coming to your place and invading your fridge again
Maybe I'm ignorant, I may be an idiot
But I'm kind of a savant with the way that I'm ripping it, hot
Better hold the noise, not to be played with like a broken toy
Now they overjoyed for they golden boy
But if you wanna make it last get a Polaroid (do it)
I'm just hoping the flash works
Sooner or later they're gonna know I'm a wack nerd
Just cause I rap fast and spit mad words
Doesn't mean I've ever been a better rapper
That's absurd, put some meaning behind it
Just cause it rhymes doesn't mean you should rhyme it
But when impressing the opposite sex
It is often the best way to cover my shyness
With a little ditty for the kids on the Internet
And if I get their digits I'll be sending a little text
To pick her an image that she can put in her Pinterest
And I'm triple-checking to see if you hit me up on Twitter yet
Wait, not even a re-tweet? Dang
[Hook]

[Outro: Heath McNease]
See, at some point, somebody decided that rapping fast means rapping good. I don't know when it happened, I don't know when it started. Sounds...like...something that white people came up with. Sounds like it exposes some very frail tendencies in white culture. Yeah. It's fine, it's just...rap fast sometimes, it's just, it's-- It's like, if you finish a test first that doesn't mean you got an A. You rap fast it doesn't mean you're a good rapper. It CAN mean that, but it's that whole square-rectangle thing. Not every fast rapper is a good rapper, and not every rapper that is good raps fast, if you understand that. I'm not even sure I understand what I'm saying, it's just frustrating. People go, "Aw, man, but can you rap fast though?" Well, I can, but should I? Should I have to? Um, only when I want to, only as the Spirit leads, is what I'm getting at. Man, I want you guys to have a great day. God Bless America. The red, white, and blue. Rap fast when you should, don't when you shouldn't, stop embarrassing all of us. There we go