[Verse 1: Isaac Knox]
It's Free Daps
Feel that yet? A season's changing
Check the decor for the presentation
Peep the red door, the green leaf arrangement
You should respect more, call it Aretha Franklin
I'm all the way deep in holiday steez
Mic check, I deck the halls and say cheese
You fall to late spring, I put the win up in the winter
Can't wait to be the king, I put the Simba in Decemba
I'm from Florida where we still up on a hurricane watch
'Cause we keepin' all the heat just like a Duraflame log
But Floridian citizens cold as Michigan winter
With lines ahead of our time like the Prime Meridian
Get my cup, eggnog with a nutmeg top
Girls stalking me like I ain't got enough red socks
Wearing this apparel singing Christmas carols
[?] with a bow but it isn't arrows

[Verse 5: Heath McNease]
If the best things happen while you’re dancing
I’m about to do my White Christmas Danny Kaye bad man ting
Advancing my belief in Santa Claus
Like a flat-earther advances a fake moon landing
So what can you do with a general when he stops being a general?
I’m being amenable, I’m feeling invincible
[?] like a goat yoga slash Lamaze class
I’m breathing [?]
It’s the ghost of Christmas present with a Christmas message
Gaze upon me that’s a misdirection
The Cratchit family ain’t gon’ get no pheasant
If Tiny Tim don’t recover from his limb infection
I did what I did it’s as simple as that
You at your nephew’s house playing Minister’s Cat
I’m greedy but I love her like a sensual ad
That’s Ebenezer in the streets, Fezzywig in the sack
Ho ho Tim Allen
I’m swoll in my Calvins
You [?] wanna battle
I’m holding my laughter
So bring that back to me
Like holes in my bladder
Or get that bell rung like a Rose Suchak Ladder
Reindeer meat then we eat the gristle
Show up at your door, Heath seeking missile
Whole squad disappear like a down from a teeny thistle
I’mma make you kneel for the Sweeney whistle
Ding dong merrily on high rap and sing a little
Your missus like me better cause I treat her different
She asked me to come over for some tea and biscuits
In your freaking kitchen she was eating on my peanut brittle
Piccadilly Circus, gettin’ really nervous
I treat myself 'cause a trick ain’t really worth it
All I really want for Christmas was a Furby
Cause last year Elmo tried to tickle me on purpose
I come from the last of peppermint patties
Parallel bars that’ll never land badly
Hooks all day like Neverland Valley
I’ll have what she’s having like Harry Met Sally
Sticky bed and candid camera
Playin' on my Sega Saturn
Said I’m coming over and she lit up like a jack-o’-lantern
Asked her what she want for Christmas
She said she don’t have an answer
I’m about to give her Magic Mike just like a backup dancer
We 'bout to get it on, Dasher Dancer
I got the magic wand, abracadabra
We better have a son named after Hagrid
He gonna be a star, shout out to Patrick
Irving Berlin with these bars
Pullin' my enemy's cards
Gotta be kiddin' me dog
You killin' me, Smalls
I'm really evolved
Used to try to get it in with your mom, now it's your sister in law
Man, that's spiritual growth
My appearance is dope
That's why I'm hitting the slopes with your miss when you don't
She askin' if we'll elope and take the kids when we go
I said yes, but that really means no
Hot rap Von Trapp family singer
I'm that GOAT on the top, I'm that manly figure
I'm that kiss that you got like last December
That you tell your current man that you can't remember
I don't blame you
When you miss mistletoe and pheromone
With that dope rapper that you heard on the stereo
He a fan of mine but he baggage like carry on
I'm just using him to talk to you like Cyrano
For what it's worth, he prolly want you to lean on me
Like you just spilled a cup of syrup
'Cause this cuck's a herb
If you must infer, that's a Charlie Brown tree to a Douglas fir
Coniferous omnipotence
Santa Claus rippin' it after Bernard's givin' it over [?] penmanship
Youse a fruitcake, been that way since your due date
Both your parents are your roommates
Corncob pipe and the nose of a Greek god
Your job's nice, stay broke on the Geek Squad
Cords all tight from the force of a deep squat
Norse god like, shake the floors of the [?]
Queequeg in this -- nah, I'm on edited
Spoonful of sugar go down with the medicine
Fireplace adorned with the socks of the residents cool with the man doing breaking and entering
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the trap
Racks after racks gettin' poured on my lap
Your mom in her kerchief and I in my cap
Just settled in to count some money off of rap