[HIS SWEETHEART]
My high school sweetheart is a person too
I tell him he's a person
He says I'm just ridick-a-lous
My high school sweetheart is a too ridick-a-lous sweetheart
Who's a person, too
He's a person

I say a person has his wants and needs
I'm not a greedy person
He says I'm just ridick-a-lous
My high school sweetheart is a too ridick-a-lous sweetheart
Who's a person, too
He's a person

[HIS WIFE & TEACHER]
He's a person

[SWEETHEART]
I'm a person

[WIFE & TEACHER]
He's a person

[SWEETHEART]
I'm a person
[MARVIN]
I'm a person

[SWEETHEART, WIFE, & TEACHER]
He's a person

[MARVIN]
I'm a person

[WIFE & TEACHER]
He's a person

[SWEETHEART]
I'm a person

[MARVIN]
She's a person

[SWEETHEART]
I'm a person

[WIFE & TEACHER]
He's a person

[MARVIN]
I'm a person
[SWEETHEART]
I'm a person

[WIFE]
I'm a person

[MARVIN]
I'm a person

[LADIES]
Marvin loves Miss Goldberg

[SWEETHEART]
And I'm his sweetheart

[MARVIN]
I love Miss Goldberg
She cast me in her play
She gave me words to say
Made me what I am today[HIS WIFE]
I'm a person
I'm a person
I'm a person[MARVIN]
I am Columbus
Columbus
King of the Ocean[ALL]
Columbus
[TEACHER]
Go ahead, play Columbus
Stop begging
Stop making me crazy, Marvin
Crazy Marvin
I love the way Marvin acts, I do
Do not makes faces and do not undo the facts
Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax

[MARVIN & HIS TEACHER]
Go ahead, play Columbus
Stop begging
Stop making me crazy, Marvin
Crazy Marvin
I love the way Marvin acts, I do
Do not makes faces and do not undo the facts
Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax

[LADIES]
He loves Miss Goldberg

[MARVIN]
She cast me in her play
She gave me words to say
Made me what I am today

[Marvin, his wife, his teacher, and his sweetheart sing simultaneously:]

[WIFE]
I'm a person
I'm a person

[MARVIN]
I am Columbus
Columbus
King of the Ocean

[TEACHER]
Go ahead, play Columbus
Stop begging
Stop making me crazy, Marvin
Crazy Marvin
I love the way Marvin acts, I do
Do not makes faces and do not undo the facts
Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax

[SWEETHEART]
I'm his sweetheart
I'm his sweetheart

[ALL]
Columbus