[Verse 1: Tom Servo]
Oh I wish I was back in old Canada,
A land which I never shall lampoon
How I pine for the ice covering Lake Manitoba
And the beauty that is Saskatoon!

[Verse 2: Mike]
Oh, I wish I was stuck in the hills of Alberta,
Drinking beer with some big dumb guy trapping fur!
As he scraped and chiseled all the moose dung off his boots
I would learn that he's the Prime Minister!

[Servo]
Oh stop that!

[Verse 3: Crow]
Oh, I wish I was in the land that gave us Peter Jennings,
Alanis Morissette, Mike Myers, too!

[Servo]
Yeah!

[Crow]
No, I take that back, I wouldn't go there even if you paid me
Oh Canada, you are a place I must eschew!


[Servo]
Now this is not in the spirit I intended!

[Mike]
Oh, come on, give in! I mean, after all, they gave us Ed the Sock and Rush!

[Crow]
Yeah, what are you defending? They're such feebs!

[Servo]
Okay, I'll try!

[Mike]
All right! Good man!

[Verse 4: Servo]
Oh, I wish I was blowing up Prince Edward Island
And going on to bomb Ontario, heh heh!
The destruction of Canada and all of its culture
Is by far my fav-o-rite scenario!

[Mike]
Okay, well that's a little strong....

[Servo]
No, no, you were right Mike, this is much more fun!

Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing a border
With countries far superior to it?

[Crow]
Yikes!

[Servo]
Why, you lousy, stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards,
Your country's just a giant piece of sh-