[MAURICE]
Help, someone help me

[INNKEEPER]
Maurice?

[MAURICE]
Please, please, I need your help
He's got her, he's got her locked in the dungeon

[LEFOU]
Who?

[MAURICE]
Belle
We must go
Not-Not a minute to lose

[GASTON]
Woah, slow down, Maurice
Who's got Belle locked in a dungeon?

[MAURICE]
A beast
A horrible, monstrous beast
[BEERDRINKER ONE]
Is it a big beast?

[MAURICE]
Huge

[BEERDRINKER TWO]
With a long, ugly snout?

[MAURICE]
Hideously ugly

[BEERDRINKER THREE]
And sharp, cruel fangs?

[MAURICE]
Yes, yes
Will you help me?

[GASTON]
Alright, old man
We'll help you out

[MAURICE]
You will?
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you
[INKEEPER]
Crazy old Maurice

[BEERDRINKER ONE]
He's always good for a laugh

[GASTON, spoken]
Crazy old Maurice, hmm?
Crazy old Maurice, hmm
LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking

[LEFOU]
A dangerous pastime—

[GASTON]
I know
But that whacky old coot is Belle's father
And his sanity's only so-so
Now, the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony, old man
See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plan
If I—

[LEFOU, spoken]
Yes?
[GASTON, spoken]
Then we—

[LEFOU, spoken]
No, would she—

[GASTON, spoken]
Guess

[LEFOU, spoken]
Now I get it

[GASTON & LEFOU]
Let's go
No one plots like Gaston

[GASTON]
Takes cheap shots like Gaston

[LEFOU]
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston

[Chorus]
So his marriage we soon will be celebrating
My, what a guy, Gaston