[Dr. Doofenshmirtz, 2nd Dimension Dr. Doofenshmirtz, both]

[Spoken]
Do I know you?
Yeah, I'm you, from another dimension!
Well, that would explain the handsomeness
Right back atcha, big guy!
Does that mean you and I are exactly alike?
...I suppose so...

[Verse 1]
Do you want some rice pudding?
Ick, no, that's gross!
It was a test! Almond brittle?
Ooh, I love it the most!
Me too!

[Verse 2]
Do you collect coins?
Yeah, just in case
Vending machines become the
Dominant race

[Pre-Chorus]
I've been alone all these years
With my irrational fears
(But not that vending machine thing
That's gonna happen)
But now before me I see
Someone with whom I agree
[Chorus]
I've found a brand new best friend
And it's me
I've found a brand new best friend
And it's me

[Verse 3]
Hmm, I thought I'd be taller
I've been told I slouch
I thought I've have both my eyes, you know?
It's in this pouch. Ouch!

[Spoken]
You know, I can't help but notice that your scar goes over your eyepatch
Yeah...
...Nothing...

[Verse 4]
Do llamas weird you out?
Yeah, are they camels or sheep?
No, no, I meant Lorenzo
Oh, that's right, he played Meap

[Pre-Chorus]
Now I know all about you
And you know all about me (ooh, wee, ooh!)
And now before me I see
Someone with whom I agree
[Chorus]
I've found a brand new best friend
And it's me
I've found a brand new best friend
And it's me

[Outro]
Now that I've found you
We can be a duo
That's right, twice the evil
Double Doofenshmirtz
Coming at you Fridays!

[Spoken]
What's that, are we doing a TV show together?
Oh, no, it just sort of sounded like- I-I mean we could. We should!
Hmm, maybe we're not so much alike...
That could be your catchphrase! You're the grumpy one. Eh?