Randy Newman
You Can’t Fool the Fat Man
[Verse 1]
Sittin' with the fat man
Tryin' to get a loan
Talkin' about the horses
And the women that we've known
Spittin' on the sidewalk
Squintin' into the sun
Greetin' all the people
Smilin' at everyone
[Verse 2]
I said, "Hey, listen, Fat Man
I just can't get a break
Must I pay my whole life long
For just one mistake?
My brother's in the armed forces
My sister is in jail
Won't you give me fifty dollars
So I can pay her bail?"
[Verse 3]
He said, "You can't fool the fat man
No, you can't fool me
You're just a two-bit grifter
That's all you'll ever be
You can't fool the fat man
No, you can't fool me
You're just a two-bit grifter
That's all you'll ever be"