[SULLEY, MIKE]
If I were a rich man
With a million or two
I'd live in a penthouse
In a room, with a view
And if I were handsome
No way!
It could happen
’Cause dreams do come true
I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn’t have you

Wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have
Wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have
Wouldn't have nothin’

[Interlude over outtakes]

[MIKE]
But I must admit it
Big guy, you always come through
I wouldn’t have nothin' if I didn’t have you

[SULLEY & MIKE]
You and me together
That's how it always should be
One without the other
Don't mean nothin' to me
Nothing to me
[MIKE, spoken]
Oh, hi! We’re rehearsing, uh, a scene for the upcoming company play called "Put that Thing Back Where It Came From, Or so Help Me!"
It's a musical

(sung)
Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!
Get that thing away from me, you guys!
Put that thing back where it came from
Or I'll poke myself in the eye!

(spoken)
Heh heh. It's a work in progress, it's gonna get better

[SULLEY, (spoken)]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this year's company play starring, written, and directed by Mike...

[OFF-SCREEN VOICE]
And produced!

[SULLEY, (spoken)]
And produced by Mike Wazowski. Oh

[MIKE, with Chorus]
Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me
So help me!
So help me get by
Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me
So help me!
I just gotta cry
[CDA USHER]
You're seated right over there, sir

["BOO"]
"Boo!"

[MIKE]
There's a child, there's a child, there's a human child
Running 'round the restaurant
This is really wild!
What in heaven's name will become of us
We, who are living in Monstropolis?!

["RANDALL"]
Alright, Wazowski, tell us where the kid is!

[MIKE, spoken]
I will never talk. Never!

(sung)
She's out of our hair
And just when I dare to care
She says, "Au contraire, you're my pair of friends. I love you."

[Chorus]
And so, we put that kid back where she came from
And she helped us to find a better tomorrow today!
[MIKE]
Thank you! What a night for my mother to be in the audience, ladies and gentlemen! My mom! Thank you, Monstropolis!

[SULLEY & MIKE, SULLEY, MIKE]
I don't have to say it
(I'll say it anyway)
'Cause we both know it's true
I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have
I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have
I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you
Wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have... you

[MIKE, spoken]
One more time!
It worked!

[SULLY, sung]
I don't have to say it

[MIKE, spoken]
I'm gonna anyway!

[SULLY]
'Cause we both know it's true

[MIKE, spoken]
Let's take it home big guy!

[BOTH]
I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have
I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have
I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have

[SULLEY]
You

[MIKE]
You! You!
A–E–I–O

[SULLY]
That means you!

[MIKE]
Yeah!