[Verse]
I didn't know what to do
And I didn't know where to go
When I looked at you
And I saw that it was snow on the ground
And not me pretending that I was a bee
Fresh from Antarctica, frozen to ice
Mother dear, I want some quick advice
'Cause I didn't know what to do
And I didn't know where to go
Someone looked at me, and they said politely
"Growing a beard can be fun
Let me show you how it is done"
I said, "Don't bother, I'd rather go see
Uncle George and Auntie Marge, help me"
'Cause I didn't know what to do
When you said you were ready to go away
And they'll stay
Until such a time permit me to say, I love you
People keep staring, they don't understand
Cousin Mary, please give me your hand
'Cause I didn't know what to do
And I didn't know where to go