[Verse 1]
Your boyfriend, he
Went down on one knee
Well, could it be
He's only got one knee?
I tried to surprise you
With Vodka
Or, Tizer
I can't quite remember
But you didn't thank me
You didn't even thank me
Because you never do

[Verse 2]
Your boyfriend, he
Has the gift of the gab
Or, could it be
The gift of the grab?
I tried to surprise you
I lay down beside you
And nothing much happened
And you didn't phone me
You didn't even phone me
Because it's not your style
To dial
[Verse 3]
Your boyfriend, he
Has displayed to me
More than just
A real hint of cruelty
I tried to surprise you
I crept up behind you
With a homeless chihuahua
You cooed for an hour
You handed him back and said
"You'll never guess
I'm bored now!"