[Verse 1]
Everybody came to nobody's weddin'
Everybody knew it was bound to be a hoot
What can you do when nothing else is cookin'?
You make your own amusement, bring a pile of loot

[Chorus]
There was Alice the butcher, Tidy and Gunn
We couldn't see where they were headin'
With sixteen days and sixteen nights
And it weren't even nobody's weddin'

[Verse 2]
"What a great reception," all the people cried
"Who stole the groom and who stole the bride?
How did the countess slide underneath the door?
Why is the wild boy chopping up the floor?"

[Chorus]
There was Alice the butcher, Tidy and Gunn
We couldn't see where they were headin'
With sixteen days and sixteen nights
And it weren't even nobody's weddin'

[Accordion Solo]
[Verse 3]
I didn't hear the sound of the tin cans rattle
I didn't hear a tear drop, I didn't hear a prattle
I didn't hear the words of the Bible being read
When it's nobody's weddin', nobody's wed

[Chorus]
There was Alice the butcher, Tidy and Gunn
We couldn't see where they were headin'
With sixteen days and sixteen nights
And it weren't even nobody's weddin'

[Accordion Solo]