[Verse 1]
If I say what's on my mind, dear
The judge will slap me down
You've got me in the corner
And it's only the second round
So I'll keep my mouth shut, darling
I'll be quiet as a lamb
And I'll act just as dumb, dear
As you really think I am

[Chorus]
Well I can shake your hand like orangutan
Be goofy as a clown
Clear the streets and book your seats
Mr. Stupid's back In town
Well have you seen me shoot
Right through that hoop
It's a trick of great renown
Bring the crowd and laugh out loud
Mr. Stupid's back in town

[Verse 2]
When your friends point out you're stuck with
A Neanderthal for an ex
Don't fret about it, darling
I still sign my name on cheques
I can grunt my way through questions
I can scratch myself and howl
I can numb you with my dumbness
I can lay it on with a trowel
[Chorus]
Well I can shake your hand like orangutan
Be goofy as a clown
Clear the streets and book your seats
Mr. Stupid's back In town
Well have you seen me shoot
Right through that hoop
It's a trick of great renown
Bring the crowd and laugh out loud
Mr. Stupid's back in town

[Post-Chorus]
Well Mr. Stupid's back in town
Oh Mr. Stupid's back in town
Oh Mr. Stupid's back in town

[Verse 3]
Oh on your thirty-seventh birthday
When he handed you that mink
Did you still feel like a victim
With your elbows in the sink?
But I've said too much already
Now I think I'll step aside
'Cause my alter ego's ready
For any questions on your mind
[Chorus]
I can shake your hand like orangutan
Be goofy as a clown
Clear the streets and book your seats
Mr. Stupid's back In town
Oh have you seen me shoot
Right through that hoop
It's a trick of great renown
Bring the crowd and laugh out loud
Mr. Stupid's back in town
Hey hey, Mr. Stupid's back in town
I said Mr. Stupid, Mr. Stupid's back in town