So you think you know how to wipe your own nose
So you think you know how to button your clothes
You don't know shit
If you hadn't already guessed
You're just a bump on the log of life
'Cos Mother knows best
She tells everybody she was born in a ditch
She backcombs her hair till she looks like a witch
Wolves in her train, serpents suckle at her breast
Don't forget to wash behind your ears
'Cos Mother knows best
O you lost your job, well ain't that a shame
Got nobody but yourself to blame
You deserve everything you get for such carelessness
And don't eat your peas off the knife
O Mother knows best
So your baby's hungry
So your baby's sick
Don't make babies, that'll do the trick
Put another string of barbed wire in your little love nest
It's better than a cardboard box
Mother knows best
She got a zombie army to serve her well
She got a thousand bloodhounds from the gates of Hell
She got a hundred black horses with sulfur and coal on their breath
And she rides the unbelievers down
Mother knows best
She says, bring me your first-born
I'll suck their blood
Bring me your poor
I can trample in the mud
Bring me your visionaries
I can put out their eyes
Bring me your scholars
I'll have them all lobotomised
Mother knows best
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