[Verse 1]
Sweet Jesus, please help Maria
I've tried holy water and I've tried tequila
Her skin is turning green, she's becoming more obscene
And now she sticks a crucifix up her vagina, yeah
And Maria thinks it's all so funny
All the while I know it's blasphemy
She's been pissin' on my floor, shes becoming such a whore
But I can't hate the bitch 'cause she's my honey, yeah

[Bridge]
But if she don't turn, she's gonna burn
Down in the flames of hell where they'll be weeping
'Cause its a sin, she let that dammed thing in
And I swear she's sneaking out at night while the rest of us are sleeping

[Chorus]
I've been praying all night long and I've been singing Christian songs
Something has possessed my lovely wife
There's something standing close in the dark, it ain't a ghost
It's Maria, trying to take my life

[Verse 2]
Now Maria vomits and she swears
And it's creepy how she comes crawling down the stairs
Her head is spinning 'round, she's been writhing on the ground
It breaks my heart, it causes many tears
[Bridge]
But if she don't turn, she's gonna burn
Down in the flames of hell where they'll be weeping
'Cause its a sin, she let that dammed thing in
And I swear she's sneaking out at night while the rest of us are sleeping

[Chorus]
I've been praying all night long and I've been singing Christian songs
Something has possessed my lovely wife
There's something standing close in the dark, it ain't a ghost
It's Maria, trying to take my life

[Verse 3]
I think she might be going straight to hell
'Cause down the steps my poor Maria fell
I gave that girl a shove, I pushed with all my love
And where I hid the body I'll never tell

[Bridge 2]
She didn't turn, she's gonna burn
Down in the flames of hell where they'll be weeping
'Cause it's a sin, she let that dammed thing in
And I swear she was sneaking out at night while the rest of us were sleeping

[Chorus]
I've been praying all night long and I've been singing Christian songs
That poor girl was once my lovely wife
She had no self control, may God forgive her soul
'Cause I had to take Maria's life
'Cause I had to take Maria's life
'Cause I had to take Maria's life