Wah-wah-wah?
Is that all you can say?

The lady ain't been born
Can take the place of a horn
With the cornet man
A goin' where there's blowin'
Trav'lin' cornet man

Just anytime they call him
He leaves his wife and kiddies
Sittin' with their tongues out
To play for peanuts in some dive
And blow his lungs out

He'll hop a choo-choo
On a moment's notice
To play some dates
With Billy Bates or Ragtime Otis

The lady ain't see the light
Can give a home a fair fight
With a cornet man
A rootin', shootin'

Ever-tootin' Dapper Dan
Who carries in his satchel
A powder-blue Norfolk suit
A silver plated wah-wah mute
There is drinkin' and gamblin', each one a curse
But I'm up against a devil that's worse
Yeah, a horn's my thorn
He's a trav'lin' cornet man

(He's gotta go out on the road
He's got some dates with Billy Bates
He gave his notice to Ragtime Otis
He's gotta go, back on the road.)

The lady ain't see the light
Can give a horn a fair fight
With that cornet man
A rootin', shootin'

Ever-tootin' Dapper Dan
Who carries in his satchel
A powder-blue Norfolk suit
Silver plated wah-wah mute

There is drinkin', gamblin', each one a curse
But I'm up against a devil that's worse
Yeah, a horn's my thorn
He's a trav'lin' cornet man
Say it again!
A powder-blue Norfolk suit
Silver plated wah-wah mute
Shy on height, he's short on weight
But he's the only guy
Can make my coffee percolate
Dapper Dan, my cornet player man