[Verse 1]
It was back in '32 when times were hard
He had a Colt .45 and a deck of cards
Stagger Lee
He wore rat-drawn shoes and an old Stetson hat
Had a '28 Ford, he had payments on that
Stagger Lee
His woman threw him out in the ice and snow
And told him, "Never ever come back no more
Stagger Lee"
So he walked through the rain and he walked through the mud
Till he came to a place called The Bucket Of Blood
Stagger Lee
He said "Mr Motherfucker, you know who I am"
The barkeeper said, "No, and I don't give a good goddamn"
To Stagger Lee
He said, "Well bartender, it's so plain to see
I'm the bad motherfucker called Stagger Lee
Mr. Stagger Lee"
Barkeep said, "Yeah, I've heard your name down the way
And I kick motherfucking asses like you every day
Mr Stagger Lee"
Well ah, those were the last words that the barkeep said
Cause Stag put four holes in his motherfucking head

[Verse 2]
Just then in came a broad called Nellie Brown
Known to make more money than any bitch in town
She struts across the bar, hitching up her skirt
Over to Stagger Lee, she startin' to flirt
Oh, Stagger Lee
She saw the barkeep, said, "O God, he can't be dead!"
Stag said, "Well, just count the holes in the motherfucker's head!"
She said, "You ain't look like you scored in quite a time
Why not come to my pad? It won't cost you a dime
Mr. Stagger Lee!"
"But there's something I have to say before you begin
You'll have to be gone before my man Billy Dilly comes in
Mr. Stagger Lee"
"I'll stay here till Billy Dilly comes in, till time comes to pass
And furthermore I'll fuck Billy Dilly in his motherfucking ass"
Said Stagger Lee
"I'm a bad motherfucker, don't you know
And I'll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get to one fat boy's asshole!"
Said Stagger Lee
Just then Billy Dilly rolls in and he says, "You must be
The mad motherfucker called Stagger Lee"
"I'm Stagger Lee
Yeah, I'm Stagger Lee and you better get down on your knees
And suck my dick, because If you don't you're gonna be dead"
Said Stagger Lee
Well, Billy Dilly dropped down and slobbered on his head
And Stag filled him full of lead
*gunshots*
Oh yeah
[Outro]
*screaming*