My son and daughter need to be impressed
I'm livin' life, trying to be the best
Need to be cooler than the other dads
Might be a school night, but we're still going out

Probably won't win the "World's Best Dad"
But it'll be the best night they ever had
I'm not a pervert, I'm filled with love
Tonight we're gonna hang at a strip club

'Cause I'm a cool dad, I do what I want
I'm livin' my life by the day
'Cause I'm a cool dad, I fuck when I want
My kids think that I am so great

Get your fuckin' hand out of that candy dish
No, I'm kiddin', eat all the fuckin' candy you want

Fast food for breakfast, fast food for lunch
Fast food for dinner, alcohol for brunch
Drunk drive my children to school events
Homework forbidden, let's play video games

Probably won't win the "World's Best Dad"
But it'll be the best night they ever had
I'm not a pervert, I'm filled with love
Tonight we're gonna bowl with a drug lord
'Cause I'm a cool dad, I do what I want
I'm livin' my life by the day
'Cause I'm a cool dad, I fuck when I want
My kids think that I am so great

You're tellin' me it's not okay
To give my kids uncut cocaine
You're sayin' that it's not so great
To tell my kids to rob a bank
You're tellin' me it's kinda strange
To build my kids a firing range
But I am never gonna change
'Cause I'm your cool dad and nothing changes that

Get the fuck out of my car
You're not old enough to drive
I'm just kiddin', drive all you want
Here, have a fuckin' beer while you drive
It's really good
Drugs are really good too, son
You should do them a lot

(Cool, cool, cool) Cool
(Cool, cool, cool) Cool dad
(Cool, cool, cool) Cool
(Cool, cool, cool) Cool dad
'Cause I'm a cool dad, I do what I want
I'm livin' my life by the day
'Cause I'm a cool dad, I fuck when I want
My kids think that I am so great

'Cause I'm a cool dad, I do what I want
(Cool dad, cool dad)
I'm livin' my life by the day
(Cool dad, cool dad)
'Cause I'm a cool dad, I fuck when I want
(Cool dad, cool dad)
My kids think that I am so great
(Cool dad, cool dad)

(Cool dad, cool dad)
(Cool dad, cool dad)
(Cool dad, cool dad)
(Cool dad, cool dad)
(Cool dad, cool dad)