[Ramsay]
Submitted for your inspection
The evolutionary erection
Of primitive man
But before we explore the question of his sense of style
We must point out his predilection
To cover his glands

Brothers, we've been led to believe
That between Adam and Eve
There was nothing to hide

[McTurk]
Were it not for eve's primal haste
Or a leaf strategically placed
Who knows what she'd decide
Eve and some guy named Clyde

[Ramsay & McTurk]
That's why life is a drag
Life is just a pose in a rag
You can play the part of

[Ramsay]
Pusher or pastor
[McTurk]
Of harlot or hag
[Ramsay & McTurk]
Life is just a dressing game
Life is a drag

[Low]
The argument can be rendered
All bodies are forcibly gendered
By how they are wrapped
And though popular opinion holds this
Makes us civilized
So much deference is attended
To what's in one's lap

[The Mayor]
History proves that who wears the pants
Is as much a mere circumstance
As a matter of time
Ultimately, why should we care
Where one buys one's lace underwear
If one is so inclined
Show me yours, I'll show mine

[Low & Mayor]
That's why life is a drag
Fashion is a long running gag
[Quartet of Revolutionaries]
We can deck you out in sequins or spandex
A mohawk or shag
Who remembers unisex?
Life is a drag

[All]
(It's a drag, what a drag)
You can be a stag in a bag
(Bag of stag, don't let your tail wag)
They won't know until you're
Stiff on the slab and they look at the tag
What you see is what you get
Life is a drag

[Instrumental interlude]

Let's just say we hereby conspire
That a change of attire
Is all part of the plan
But something that was so long suppressed
Starts to show when you wear a dress
And if clothes make the man
They can unmake the man

That's why life is a drag
Life is just a pose in a rag
You can play the part of
Pusher or pastor
Of harlot or hag
Life is just a dressing game
Life is a drag
(It's a drag, what a drag)
Fashion is a long running gag
(Running gag)
But aren't you glad they found
A way to look hip
When your butt starts to sag
Praise the Lord, designer jeans!
What you see is what you get
Who remembers unisex and
Who are you calling fag?
Life is a drag!