Well I wish I had some memories
That'd keep inside my trunk
I wish I had a nickel for every beer I've drunk
And I wish I had me a sailing ship
That'd take me over the sea
I wish I could talk you in to coming home with me

Is this the part where I came in
I've heard this song before
Had a couple too many
But I think I can find the door
And I do not know your name my friend
But I've seen that face before
Well I saw it in the Jail House
And I saw in the war
And I saw it in my mirror
A couple of times before

I wish I was the Candyman
Sweet as I could be
In every town the ladies hang 'round
Just to get a taste of me
I wish I was an opry star
Or had me a PhD
I wish I had the common sense
To be satisfied with me
Is this the part where I came in
I've heard this song before
Had a couple too many
But I think I can find the door
And I do not know your name my friend
But I've seen that face before
Well I saw it in the Jail House
And I saw in the war
Well I saw it my mirror
Just a couple of times before

I wish I had a magic pocket, that'd keep all my money in
I wish I knew a good excuse for all of my mortal sins
Well they say to know the best in life, you gotta know the worst
I wish that I had been the clown, who thought up that one first

Is this the part where I came in
I've heard this song before
Had a couple too many
But I think I can find the door
And I do not know your name my friend
But I've seen that face before
Hey, I saw it in the Jail House
And I saw in the war
Well I saw it in my mirror
A couple of times before
Let me tell you
I saw it in the Jail House
It was on the post office door
And I saw it in my mirror
A couple of times before
Good People I saw it in the jail house
I saw it in the war
Lord I saw it in the mirror ...