I was runnin' through the summer rain
Tryin' to catch the evenin' train
And kill that old familiar pain
Weavin' through my tangled brain
When I tipped my bottle back
I smacked into a cop I didn't see

That policeman said Mr. Cool
If you're ain't drunk then you're a fool
I said if that's against the law
Tell me why I never saw
A man locked in that jail of yours
Who wasn't just as lowdown poor as me

Well that was when someone turned out the lights
And I wound up in jail to spend the night
And dream of all the wine and lonely girls
In this best of all possible worlds

Well I woke up next morning
Feelin' like my head was gone
And like my thick old tongue
Was lickin' somethin' sick and wrong
And I told that man I'd sell my soul
For somethin' wet and cold as that old cell
That kindly jailer grinned at me
All eaten up with sympathy
Then poured himself another beer
And came and whispered in my ear
'If booze was just a dime a bottle
Boy, you couldn't even buy the smell'

I said I knew there was somethin' I liked about this town
But it takes more than that to bring me down down down
'Cause there's still a lot of wine and lonely girls
In this best of all possible worlds

Well they finally came and told me
They was a-gonna set me free
And I'd be leavin' town
If I knew what was good for me
I said it's nice to learn that
Everybody's so concerned about my health

I said I won't be leavin'
No more quicker than I can
'Cause I've enjoyed about as much of this
As I can stand
And I don't need this town of yours
More than I've never needed nothing else
'Cause there's still a lotta drinks that I ain't drunk
Lots of pretty thoughts that I ain't thunk, oh yeah
Lord there's still so many lonely girls
In this best of all possible worlds