[FLAPPY BOB]
You’re sitting here complaining
About all that you’ve been through
With a whole summer remaining
You must be asking who
Can protect your little darlings
From the bad things you abhor

Let me tell you Flappy Bob’s
The clown you’re looking for!
Before they skin their knees--

[GARY AND BETTY]
Get Flappy!

[FLAPPY BOB]
Before they’re black and blue--

[GARY AND BETTY]
Get Flappy!

[FLAPPY BOB]
Before they've caught TB--

[GARY AND BETTY]
Get Flappy!
[FLAPPY BOB]
...Or keep annoying you!

[GARY AND BETTY]
Wooo!

[FLAPPY BOB]
Before they break their necks--

[GARY AND BETTY]
Get Flappy!

[FLAPPY BOB]
Before they break their arms--

[GARY AND BETTY]
Get Flappy!

[FLAPPY BOB]
Before they’re all but wrecks--

[GARY AND BETTY]
Get Flappy!

[FLAPPY BOB]
...Before they do more harm!
[GARY AND BETTY]
Flap, flap, flap, flap, flappity-doo!
Flappy is the clown for you!
Flap, flap, flap, flap, flappity-die!
He’s the clown for you and I!
Flap, flap, flap, flap, flappity-oh!
Flappy is the way to go!

[TIMMY]
Do you hear what I’m hearing?
No, this can’t be true!
That clown’s about to take summer
Away from me and you!

[FRANCIS]
No more engine slingshots?

[CHESTER]
No more naked runs?

[TIMMY]
NO!
If we don’t act now, we’ll be trapped in
Camp Learn-a-Torium!
Before he steals our summer
Before it’s check and mate
We gotta stop that Flappy Bob
Before it’s way too late!
[FLAPPY BOB]
Why sit here just complaining?
Why even take the chance?
Leave your kiddies with the chap
Who wears the polka-dotted pants!
I know that it seems harsh

[CHILDREN]
It is!

[FLAPPY BOB]
And a little bit unfair

[CHILDREN]
You’re right!

[FLAPPY BOB]
But someone’s got to be there
When you know you can’t be there

[TIMMY'S DAD]
Or don’t wanna be!

[FLAPPY BOB]
It might be a tad expensive
But let me ask of you:
Won’t it cost more down the line
If the cops are blamin' you
For the injuries incurred while
Your children wreck the town?
You can learn to love your cellmate--
Or just learn to love this clown!

[FLAPPY BOB]
Get Flappy...!
Get Flappy....!
Get Flappy.....!

[ALL except CHILDREN]
GET FLAPPY!