[Verse 1: JB]
A long-ass fucking time ago
In a town called Kickapoo
There lived a humble family
Religious through and through
But yay, there was a black sheep
And he knew just what to do

His name was young JB
And he refused to step in line
A vision he did see
Of fucking rocking all the time
He wrote a tasty jam
And all the planets did align

[Verse 2: JB]
Oh, the dragon's balls were blazing
As I stepped into his cave
Then I sliced his fucking cockles
With a long and shiny blade
'Twas I who fucked the dragon
Fuckali, sing fuckaloo
And if you try to fuck with me
Then I shall fuck you too

[Chorus: JB]
Got to get it on in the party zone
I gots to shoot a load in the party zone
Gotta lick a toad in the party zone
Gotta suck a chode in the party zone, ah
[Verse 3: Meat Loaf]
You've disobeyed my orders, son
Why were you ever born?
Your brother's ten times better than you
Jesus loves him more
This music that you play for us
Comes from the depths of Hell
Rock and Roll's the Devil's work
He wants you to rebel
You'll become a mindless puppet
Beelzebub will pull the strings
Your heart will lose direction
And chaos it will bring

[Chorus: Meat Loaf]
You better shut your mouth
You better watch your tone
You're grounded for a week
With no telephone
Don't let me hear you cry
Don't let me hear you moan
You gotta praise the Lord
When you're in my home

[Interlude: JB]
Dio, can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone
I'm asking for your guidance
Won't you come down from your throne?
I need the tight compadre
Who will teach me how to rock
My father thinks you're evil
But man, he can suck a cock
Rock is not the Devil's work
It's magical and rad
I'll never rock as long as I am
Stuck here with my Dad
[Verse 4: Dio]
I hear you, brave young Jables
You are hungry for the rock
But to learn the ancient method
Sacred doors you must unlock
Escape your father's clutches
And this oppressive neighborhood
On a journey you must go
To find the land of Hollywood

[Verse 5: Dio]
In the City of Fallen Angels
Where the ocean meets the sand
You will form a strong alliance
And the world's most awesome band
To find your fame and fortune
Through the Valley you must walk
You will face your inner demons
Now go, my son, and Rock

[Verse 6: JB]
So he bailed from fucking Kickapoo
With hunger in his heart
And he journeyed far and wide
To find the secrets of his art
But in the end he knew
That he would find his counterpart
[Outro: JB]
Rock
Rock
Rock