[Verse 1]
And I broke my promise on a very sharp rock
And I was possessed by something quite unfriendly
And I was haunted by a demon in my sleep

[Refrain]
And that's how I learned how to survive

[Verse 2]
And I gave a beer to a bum that was drinking
And I gave some sauce to my bestest friend for cooking
And I gave water to who all I thought were thirsty

[Refrain]
And that's how I learned how to survive

[Verse 3]
And I gave my money to the bank for safe keeping
And I gave my money to my landlord, he was needing it
And I gave attention to the T.V. that was bleeding

[Refrain]
And that's how I learned how to survive

[Bridge]
But if you ain't got the do-re-mi boys
If you ain't got the do-re-mi
Well you better go back to beautiful Texas
Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee
California is a garden of Eden, a paradise to live in or see
But believe it or not, you won't find it so hot
If you ain't got the do-re-mi
[Verse 4]
And we totally ripped off a man named Woody Guthrie
And I bought a restaurant for his son named Alice
And I fed false information to the audience

[Refrain]
And that's how I learned how to survive

[Verse 5]
And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me
And I give a finger to my step-father for beating me
And I give props to myself for achieving
And god damn, I'm glad that I survived
And god damn, I am surprised that I survived

[Outro]
And I just handed you a giant load of gibberish
And I give love to a lover quite deserving of it
And I give thanks to all of you for withstanding
The story of how we learned how to survive