If I had a cigarette
For every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette
Then I'd have enough cigarettes
To get me through the day

And if I had some spare change
Every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change
Then I'd have enough spare change
To take care of these bills I need to pay

And dude, I know that times are tough
But that does not mean that you can have my stuff
So how about a ride?
I could drive you to the shelter
We could eat dinner at the Andre House
And you could even take a shower

'Cause I think you deserve much more
Than​ a smoke and fifty cents
You deserve to be self-sufficient
And buy your own cigarettes

Oh when the saints
Oh when the saints
Oh when the saints go marching in
They will feed you so much pizza
That you'll forget about the rut that you are in
Oh when the saints
Oh when the saints
Oh when the saints come marching in
Well I'm sure they'll feel so much better
With the illusion of their helping of those sinners

When all they really do is buy the so-called "sinners" shitty dinners
Like five dollar hot n' ready pizzas
And high fructose corn syrup punch
You're diabetic and apathetic
Wondering when they'll bring you lunch
To the park they keep you in
When the saints go marching in

So I wish I had a cigarette
For every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette
But I wonder what a cigarette
Will really do to help that person out

I wish to god I had some spare change
Every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change
But there's not enough spare change in the world
To make such an empty gesture count