[Verse 1]
I broke my promise on a very sharp rock
And I was possessed by something quite unfriendly
And I was haunted by a demon in my sleep

[Refrain]
And that's how I learned how to survive

[Verse 2]
And I gave a beer to a bum that was drinking
And I gave some sauce to my bestest friend for cooking
And I gave water to all I thought were thirsty

[Refrain]
And that's how I learned how to survive

[Verse 3]
And I gave some money to my bank for safe keeping
And I gave some money to my landlord, he was needing it
And I gave attention to the TV that was bleeding

[Refrain]
And that's how I learned how to survive

[Bridge]
If you ain't got the do-re-mi boys
If you ain't got the do-re-mi
Well you better go back to beautiful Texas
Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee
California is a garden of Eden
A paradise to live in or see
But believe it or not, you won't find it so hot
If you ain't got the do-re-mi
[Verse 4]
And I just ripped off a man named Woody Guthrie
And I bought a restaurant for his son named Alice
And I fed false information to the audience

[Refrain]
And that's how I learned how to survive

[Verse 5]
I give a thank you to my father for leaving me
And I give a finger to my stepfather for beating me
And I give props to myself for achieving
God damn I'm glad that I survived
God damn I am glad that I survived

[Outro]
I just handed you a giant load of gibberish
And I give love to a lover quite deserving of it
And I give thanks to all of you for listening to the story
Of how we all learned how to survive