[Part I: Brave as a Noun]
[Verse 1]
I could go off the deep end
I could kill all my best friends
I could follow those stylish trends
And God knows I could make amends
But I've got an angry heart
Filled with cancers and poppy tarts
If this is how you folks make art
Well that's fucking depressing

[Chorus]
And it's sad to know that we are not alone
And it's sad to know there's no honest way out

[Verse 2]
I'm afraid to leave the house
I'm as timid as a mouse
I'm afraid if I go out
I'll outwear my welcome
I am not a courageous man
I don't have any big, lasting plans
I'm too cowardly to take a stand
I want to keep my nose clean

[Chorus]
And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this
And it's sad to know there's no honest way out
In this life we lead, we could conquer everything
If we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning
[Part II: Survival Song]
[Verse 3]
And I broke that fucking promise on a very sharp rock
And I was possessed by something quite unfriendly
And I was haunted by a demon in my sleep

[Refrain]
And that's how I learned how to survive

[Verse 4]
And I gave a beer to a bum who was drinking
And I gave some sauce to my best friend for cooking
I gave water to all I thought were thirsty

[Refrain]
That's how I learned how to survive

[Verse 5]
And I give my money to the bank for safe keeping
I give my money to my landlord because he's a dick
I give attention to the T.V. that was bleeding

[Refrain]
That's how I learned how to survive

[Bridge]
And if you ain't got the do-re-mi boys
If you ain't got the do-re-mi
Well you better go back to beautiful Texas
Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee
California is a garden of Eden, a paradise to live in or see
But believe it or not, you won't find it so hot
If you ain't got the do-re-mi
[Verse 6]
And sometimes we steal our songs from Woody Guthrie
And I bought a restaurant for his son named Alice
And I fed false information to the audience

[Refrain]
And that's how I learned how to survive

[Verse 7]
And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me
I give a middle finger to my step-father for beating me
And I give props to myself for achieving
God damn, I am glad that I survived
And God damn, I am surprised that I survived

[Spoken]
Thank you very much!

[Outro]
And we just handed you a giant load of gibberish
And I give love to a lover so deserving of it
And I give thanks to all of you for listening
To the story of how we learned how to survive