[JOEY]
I wake up in the morning
And it's nothing new
Run through my mind for hours
Still, I just want you

You're all I want
You're all I need
My love for you
Just grows the way you do
When I love you

I wanna hold you all night long
And cuddle til we're blue
I'll hold you in a tight embrace
I know it seems taboo

But I have to have you with me now
I have to have you quick
I love you more than anything
My dick![JOEY]
 
I like being with you
 
You like being with me[DICK]
I like being with you
 
And you like being with me
 [JOEY & DICK]
We're just the best of friends
As anyone can see
People say it's quite unlikely
The two of us should stick
But I just tell them
"Hey! It's me and my dick!"[JOEY]
We'll stick together
 
Fight through thick and thin
 [DICK]
 
We'll stick together
 
Fight through thick and thin[JOEY & DICK]
If we stay side by side
There's no way we can't win[JOEY]
Any girl that's out there
 
Any girl at all[DICK]
 
Any girl that's out there
 
Any girl at all[JOEY & DICK]
When she gets going with us
She's sure to have a ball!

[DICK, spoken]
Hey! Watch out with that joke... it's an antique!
[JOEY & DICK, sung]
People say
"How do you do it?
How can you be so slick?"
But I just tell them
"Hey! It's me and my dick!"[JOEY]
Yeah, there she is
 
Leaning on her locker
With those big brown eyes
And she's taking off
Her shirt and her pants
 
And we're doing
A sexy-time dance[DICK]
 
Oh, I see her
 
 
 
 
Yeah, keep going![JOEY]
She's running her hands
Down my underpants

[JOEY & DICK]
Buddy, this is our chance!
[SALLY, spoken]
Joey!

[JOEY & DICK, sung]
People say it's quite unlikely
The two of us should stick
But I just tell them
"Hey!"[JOEY]
It's me and my dick
 
It's me and my dick
 
It's me and my dick[DICK]
 
I like being with you
 
We'll stick together
 [DICK, spoken]
Hey, man...

[JOEY & DICK, sung]
It's me and my dick!