[BRIAN H, spoken]
Hey, you guys, that sounded great!

[DYLAN]
Oh boy, do I love singing and dancing!

[MEREDITH]
Hey, you can say that again!

[JOE]
Okay! Boy, do I love singing and dancing!

[ALL]
Hahahahaha!

[JOE]
But seriously, guys. Let's not forget that we made a group decision to quit singing and dancing for good. [Audience boos.] Remember that we have to focus on what has always been and what will always be our truest passion: archeological digs!

[ALL]
Yeah!

[DYLAN]
That's why we're here today, after all!

[LAUREN]
Yeah, did you guys know that the ancient Mayans built temples just like this one all across Mesoamerica?
[BRIAN R]
I've never seen a site so perfectly preserved!

[MEREDITH]
Hey, take a look at this raised stone altar back here! Ooh, and this keyboard carved from - nom nom nom nom - limestone.

[JOEY]
And their ancient Mayan microphone system still works! Though I could use a little bit more in the monitors, thanks.

[JAIME]
Whoa! Hey! You guy, check out what I found!

[BRIAN H]
Whoa! What is it, Dr. Jaime?

[JAIME]
Oh, I'm not sure, Nurse Brian, but let's take a look.

[LAUREN]
Wow! Look at all that radical writing! What does it mean?

[BRIAN H]
Golly, you're gonna have to translate it. Do you think you can do it, Jaime?

[JAIME]
Nope. But I'll try!
[ALL]
The Starkid motto!

[JAIME]
Hmm... okay, let's see. It appears to be a prophecy describing what the Mayans refer to as a troupe called... "Dickrats", and how they bring about the end of the Earth.
Ew, it's creepy. Okay, let's see:
Number one: one of the Dickrats will be consumed by a giant fox.
Huh. Okay.
Number two: one of the Dickrats will lead the Jews out of Egypt and then go on to host his own... "One Man Showses".
That's weird.
And number three - ooh, you guys, this one is most important - it says the Dickrats will find this very tablet and by reading it outloud, summon... uhh... the rest is on the back...
The Mayan God of Chaos and Death.

[STARKIDS]
Whoooa!

[MEREDITH]
Whoa, wait a second, Jaime! You translated that one word backwards! It doesn't say "Dickrats", it says-

[MARGARET]
STAAAAAARKID!
MY COMING HAS BEEN FORETOLD! AND SO IT SHALL BE! ALL TREMBLE BEFORE THE MIGHT OF MA'AU GUURIT!

[STARKIDS]
Ahhhh!!!
[MARGARET]
I must thank you, meddlesome teenagers, for summoning I, Ma'au Guurit: The Destroyer of Worlds, here. In Los Angeles, THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD!
It is 2012, the year of the apocalypse. So prepare to meet your doom, mortals! This is where the trolley ends.

[STARKIDS]
Ahhhh!!!

[LAUREN]
Whoa whoa! Wait a minute, fellas! I was doing some light reading on ancient Mayan deities, and it turns out that Ma'au Guurit is not only the god of chaos and death, but also the god of musical theatre!

[JOE]
Golly, Lauren, that is so interesting- hnnnggrrrr... oh! I just had an idea! Now, I know that we gave up singing and dancing - for good.... Well, I dunno, Marguerite seems like a reasonable woman. Maybe if we demonstrate to her that the world is still full of... mediocre singers and dancers like it was in ancient Maya... well... maybe she'll let us live.

[BRIAN H]
We've gotta try! Hey, Margaret? Ma'am? Umm, I was wondering if you might like it if we, ya'know, put on a musical theatre concert for you?

[MARGARET]
A CONCERT? I USED TO... love those back in Maya. A group would perform for an audience, singing and dancing to their hearts' contents, then the audience would vote on the best way to kill them.
Now, you are all criminals, correct?

[DYLAN]
Oh, yeah, I love stealing from Whole Foods. It's like my favorite thing...

[JOEY]
And I appeared on the Disney show Jessie, Fridays at 8!

[MEREDITH]
So... so whaddaya say, Margaret? If we put on a show for ya, and-
and you think it's totally awesome... you think you might consider sparing this world?
Shh... it's okay, shh...

[MARGARET]
Hmm... it could get me into trouble with my supervising deity... but if I like your show, it just might be worth it.
But, my favorite type of songs are from parody musicals and... shows that are exactly like The Little Mermaid but in space... and I doubt you have any of those. So go ahead, put on your little concert. Oh, I'll even provide an audience for you.

[STARKIDS]
Cool!

[BRIAN H]
There used to be a fourth wall there!

[MARGARET]
I'll be watching with my all-seeing eyes as I destroy Paris, France... THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD!
Au revoir, Dickrats... you're going to need it.

[BRIAN R]
Alright, gang, it looks like we've got one shot to save the world!

[LAUREN]
It looks like you're right, my best friend. And I know just the thing... hit it!

[DAVE SCALIA]
1-2-3-4!